D R U G DEALER STORY TIME | I will never forget

Introduction

If I told you guys that I had $ 30,000 in credit card debt, would anyone think to say that I should be punished for that? Probably not, right? But when you share stories like I share—a $ 330,000 debt in the drug world—it's a very different thing, and that's what we're going to talk about today.

What's up, you guys? Welcome back. If you are new here, hi, my name is Jess. I'm a person in long-term recovery who has been to prison. It's not a flex; it's just a fact. If you want to follow me on any other social media platform—TikTok, Instagram, Patreon—all of that is linked down below, as well as my Vlog Channel, Facebook page, Spotify, and merch.

Please remember to like the video and subscribe if you have not already, but without further ado, let's kick this thing off.

I haven't told a story from my past like this in a very long time. What inspired it today? Well, I'll tell you. TikTok and Facebook don’t forget anything and remind me, "On this day three years ago, you posted this video." I made a TikTok in 2021 about a drug dealer debt and recently reposted it.

That TikTok is a light-hearted way of saying I owed a drug dealer $ 30,000. The comment section gets filled with people, mostly men, telling me that I should have been shot. When originally posted in 2021, I had men saying they would do all kinds of things to me because of that money.

That's the hard thing about talking about addiction. There's this stigma where people believe they have the right to tell you that you deserve to die because of a drug debt. But if it was credit card debt, you would never say that to somebody. We're talking about debt, right? Credit card debt, drug debt—it's money. Telling me that I needed to be shot or even raped is so unhinged and messed up.

I take full accountability for the bad things that happened when my addiction was really bad. I am so far removed from that life now that it’s crazy. I’m 13 years out of this addiction and the chaos that was involved in it. I always say I’m in long-term recovery, but I’m just not in the recovery community because it can be a really toxic place. A lot of people say they are for all pathways, but they really mean only their pathway, usually abstinence.

People on medically assisted treatment talk badly about cannabis. When I say I'm for all pathways, I mean all of them. I believe in harm reduction, Cali sober, and all the different ways. Even recreational use of other substances. Whatever you do in your life, I’m never going to judge you. It’s not my business.

There's nothing glamorous or gangster about being a drug dealer and going to prison. The gangster thing is changing my life, being sober, and being a mother to my children. My parents don’t have to worry about getting that dreaded phone call anymore.

In my past life, an opportunity came that introduced me to a person who threw a few stacks of heroin in my lap. He wanted $ 5,000 for it, and I thought I could double it easily. Selling for him started a dangerous path.

I later learned that this person, serving life in prison now, was not only a drug dealer but also committed sexual assault. I've dealt with multiple people who were terrified of him. He provided drugs, but if they came up short, he would assault them.

There were instances when he picked me and another girl up. She was scared to tell him she was short on money. He told her he would come back for her and gave her drugs. I later found out from friends and other people that he assaulted those who were short on payments.

It's horrifying to think this man gets to walk the yard with respect while serving life in prison for drugs, not for the sexual assaults he committed. It's a broken system. I wish I could have done more back then to help those women who were terrified of him.

Selling drugs caused lots of harm in my community, and I am terribly sorry for that. I caused pain within my family, friends, and buried more people than I'd like to count. My cousin Sunny passed away two years ago, and it reminds me constantly of the harm addiction causes.

In closing, I want to share a heartbreaking statistic:

Rape is the most under-reported crime. Only 63% of sexual assaults are reported, and only 12% of child sexual abuse cases are reported to authorities.
Factoring in unreported cases, about 6% of rapists ever see a day in jail.
Out of 1,000 cases, only 25 result in prison time.
An American is sexually assaulted every 68 seconds.

It's hard to get a conviction for sexual assault. If rape is reported, there's a 50.8% chance of an arrest, and out of those, only 25 out of 1,000 end up in prison. This shows how broken our system is.

I'm going to end today's video here. As always, I love you guys. Stay safe, stay in recovery, whatever that looks like to you.

I still have the link to Groups in the description box of this video. They believe in harm reduction, Cali sober, whatever it is, and they don’t kick you out if you make a mistake because you’re human. They help in every way possible or find somebody that can.

I love you guys.

Keyword

Addiction
Long-term recovery
Drug debt
Drug dealer
Sexual assault
Prison
Harm reduction
Stigma
Accountability
Community
Trauma

FAQ

Q: What inspired you to share this story today? A: TikTok and Facebook memories reminded me of a video I posted three years ago about owing a drug dealer $ 30,000.

Q: How do people react to your stories about addiction? A: The comment sections often get filled with people, mostly men, telling me that I should have been shot or worse, showing the stigma around addiction.

Q: Why do you not participate in the recovery community? A: The recovery community can sometimes be toxic and judgmental. I believe in all pathways to recovery and do not judge anyone for their choices.

Q: How did you get involved with this dangerous person? A: I was introduced to him by a girl who owed me money. He saw I had some money and offered me heroin to sell.

Q: How do you feel about the drug dealer now in prison? A: It makes me sick to think he is serving life in prison for being a drug dealer instead of the sexual assaults he committed.

Q: How do you view addiction now? A: Addiction starts and stops with pain and trauma. I believe in harm reduction and whatever pathway works for the individual.

Q: What are the prison statistics regarding sexual assault? A: Rape is highly underreported. Out of all cases, only 6% of rapists see a day in jail, and only 25 out of 1,000 cases result in prison time.